Sometimes I should not answer my emails, then again, sometimes I should not post items to my blog. Then again, that is the purpose of this creation.

A “so-called” friend sent me a link on Top 10 Drinking Achievements Before You Die and asked a simple question; “How many have you completed?” When I reviewed the list, I laughed. Yes, I have done all of these. Some of them, many times. I am a professional half mind and barstool tester. So I guess I can die.

But wait, let us first review the list:

• Case In A Day - 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I prefer to think not. You need to sit down with a couple of friends and a couple of cases and power through the day and the case. People that have never done this think it’s easy and the people that have, know it’s not. Added Difficulty: Keep a hand written journal of what you are doing each time you crack a beer. Bonus Points: If anything is legible after beer 17.
  • Good God - Hello? Yes, I have done this.
    
  • Legible after 17? - hell, I watch football Sunday and read the freakin stats easy!
  • Now if I admit that I have driven, then I would be admitting to a crime. Where is my lawyer?

• Run The Taps At A Bar… Conditions: must have 12 or more taps. This is pretty self explanatory. Belly up to the bar and order a single pint of every beer they have on tap one after the other. You are going to get to try a lot of new beers and chances are you will be piss drunk before the sun goes down.
  • I have done this so many times that I should get extra credit.
  • Once did 24 beers from taps at one sitting. The bartender noticed at about 14 beers what I was doing, so I got a discount on a few!
    
• Century Club - Pretty simple, 100 shots of beer in 100 minutes without puking. Much like the case in a day challenge people always think this is easy until they actually try it. 60 seconds starts feeling like 5 seconds once you pass the 70 minute mark.
  • Did this when I was 17. Actually we did 200. It was tough! And the best part, the beer had been “donated” by the Brothers of Holy Cross.
• Brew Your Own Beer - Yeah it might not taste that great and you will be “that guy” that makes all your friends try their shitty brew but every true booze hound has to give it a shot at least once.
  • First time was when I was 20…. in my parents garage…. never told them!
• Pub Crawl Conditions: 12 or more pubs covering at least 1 mile. There is nothing better than getting a big group of friends together on a sunny day and catching a buzz while going on a walk. A beer at each stop with a short walk in between and you will be primed for a night of debauchery.
  • Easy one! Done it many times. Deserve extra credit!
• Go To An AA Meeting at least once you should see how the other half lives. Learn a lesson from Charlie Kelly, throw out your beer before you actually get into the meeting. If you don’t somebody will rat you out.
  • Yup - done this a couple of time, but just once for me, but never court ordered.
    
• Learn Something About Wine And I don’t mean memorizing the flavors of Franzia, Carlo Rossi or Charles Shaw. Go on a wine tour and actually pay attention (without pounding Busch Lights between wineries) or go to a multi-course meal where they pair a wine with each course and explain why they go together. The knowledge will pay off each and every time you take a lady out for a nice dinner.
  • When I owned my own pub, I knew a ton about wine. As soon as I sold it, I forgot everything except that I enjoy all of the wines from Boony Doon!
• Black Out Before Noon - Just once get out of bed at 9 a.m. and crack a beer instead of having your morning Tropicana. There are a finite number of years in life where you can get drunk before noon and not feel like a total douche about it the next day. If you are a college football fan then this is easy to accomplish. If beer isn’t your bag first thing in the A.M. then I would recommend a Boones Farm Strawberry Hill. It’s slightly fruity, high in booze and fan-fucking-tastic.
  • Not something I am proud of, but yup. Once at a Day On The Green. The other times I am pretending not to remember.
    
• Oktoberfest in Germany - As someone who’s been there twice, trust me in terms of a unique alcohol experience, it’s pretty unparalleled. Any place where you can puke on the floor under your table, and one waitress jokes with you while she cleans it up and another brings you another beer is unique in my book. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a girl throw up while making out with some dude so that it squirts out the side of their mouths. Gross but hilarious. –Mr. Wonka
  • Yup - drank and got the shirt. Ein beir bitte!
• Scotch - learn to drink scotch either on the rocks or neat. Much like golf, it is a pain in the ass to learn, but it will pay off in the business world. While you are at it, learn the difference between bourbon and whiskey so that you don’t look like a total fucking hayseed. If you really want to get a gold star on your chart learn the difference between a blend and single malt as well.
  • Yup, got this one and a blend versus single malt is easy - A single malt is made entirely by distillations from a single producer at a single site, whereas a blend is created by mixing distillation from multiple producers.
    
  • Plus I am an ambassador for Maker’s Mark. Extra Credit!
    

FInal score - 10 out of 10 — Guess I can die.

Other items one needs to accomplish - and yes, I have done these!

• Buy the whole bar a round
• Get free drinks by washing the glasses for a bartender
• Get drunk with Australians
• Get drunk with some one you don’t know and never actually get their name
• Get a waitress / bartender drunk
• Drink “after hours”
• Dance on top of a bar